Monday, December 18, 2017

Tak Mengapa

Kita selalu berkira tentang apa yang orang laku pada kita
Yang buat kita terasa dan berduka
Yang buat kita sakit hati dan benci

Tapi kita selalu lupa untuk hitung apa yang kita buat pada orang
Yang buat mereka terasa dan berduka
Yang buat mereka sakit hati dan benci

Segala-galanya tentang kita
Hati kita yang perlu dibelai dijaga
Hati kita terlalu mulia untuk diseksa

Tapi sebenarnya
Bukan kita seorang punya perasaan dalam dunia
Bukan kita seorang punya perasaan untuk dibelai dijaga
Juga bukan kita seorang yang suka hatinya diseksa

Jadi bila kita sedih, marah, atau terasa
Cuba kita ambil sesaat untuk fikir apa yang kita telah buat pada dia
Atau mungkin pada orang lain walaupun perkaranya mungkin berbeza
Harapnya dengan itu dapat memujuk perasaan dan kuatkan hati kita

"The world is not revolves around you," semata
Dan "Life is all about giving to others,"
Jadi apa salahnya kalau hati sedikit luka,
Asal kita letak senyum pada orang punya muka.

"Tak mengapa,"

Sunday, December 17, 2017

First Time

Your hair when the wind blows-
When you try to tuck them back with your fingers
The colour of your eyes under the bright sun
The wrinkles on the side of your eyes everytime you smile-
When your try to hold back your smile
The marks on your face everytime you laugh hard
Your cheekbones
The way you walk
The way you move
Your smell
Your voice
Your fine nails
How your fingers dance while strumming, plucking the guitar
How your eyes shut when you sing
The calm in your face while you asleep
Your face when you just awake
The way you look me in the eyes
The heart race everytime your arrived

Each of that.
Always make me feels as it is the first time.

Letter to God IV

Dear Lord, the Almighty,

I'm not giving up yet
And I don't want to-
Of all the strength in me; 
I still wanna hold on to this.
Please,
Grant me the whole patience in the world
That's the only thing that I needed;
From you.
Only. 

Disappear

There's always a voice in me
Asking me to just get off
Away from where I am  now
Away from the people I'm surround with
Away from everything I'm into.

Get off
Let them go
Distant myself
Shut myself off

So I can know what's worth and what's not
Where I belong and where's not
Who's true and who's not
For I always such a pain to everyone.

And yes,
Somehow I think
Shut off and disappear
Could be a great solution.


Mata Wang Cinta

Sesiapa tolong beritahu aku;
Apakah matawang untuk cinta?
Sebab aku rasa tiada yang dicipta khas untuk aku;
Dan tiada juga yang percuma.
Jua tiada yang mahu beri separuh harga.
Semuanya mahal-mahal belaka.

Jadi beritahu aku
Apa matawang cinta
Sebab mahu tak mahu
Aku terpaksa membelinya


Pengemis dan Angan-angannya

Sebenarnya
Dalam dunia ni
Wujudkah sisa sisa kasih sayang yang memang untuk aku sahaja?
Yang hanya untuk aku
Yang bukan untuk aku kemis kerananya
Sisa sisa pun tak mengapa
Asalkan ianya untuk aku;
Tanpa perlu aku untuk meminta-minta
Aku penat merayu untuk dikasihkan
Aku lelah membayar untuk disayangkan
Yang aku mahu cuma sekelumit,
sisa pun tak mengapa,
Cinta, dalam dunia;
Yang memang untuk aku sahaja.
Ada?




Sunday, November 12, 2017

Letter to God III

Dear God,

If this's one of the test then we still haven't gave up yet. And we wouldn't. If it had to took a thousand years for us to hold on, I know we can get through this. God, please put us in patient. Let us know how worth waiting is.


The weakest,
Us.

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Letter to God II

Dear God,

I always suck at this.
I tried so hard to refrain myself, not to;
But I just can't.
Believe me. I tried.
But I keep failing.
Oh God, please;
The guilt's killing.
Believe us. We tried.
But we keep failing.
God, have mercy.
I don't wanna loose this.
I don't wanna loose us.
I don't want anymore.
I really don't.
Guide me, us;
He's the one worth keeping.
He's the one worth sacrificing.
He's the one worth dying.
God, please.
Have mercy.
Help us;


Please.

Friday, November 3, 2017

Letter to God

Dear God,


I rest everything to you.


Hopeless yet helpless,
Me

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Lebih Sampah

Kau tahu
Sampah pun ada tempat dalam dunia ni.
Tapi aku--
Lagi hina dari sampah.



















Kelakar bila orang yang paling kau percaya, paling kau berharap, paling buat kau rasa sekurang-kurangnya, percaya ada tempat untuk kau dalam dunia, buat kau rasa macam sampah semula. Terima kasih sebab buat aku rasa macam ni. Thanks beb, thanks.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

On My Way

I need your patience
Could you wait?
I'm running to you

Cause I've got these tiny little feet
And my steps are small
And my pace are slow

I would not stop myself to get to you
I'll try to be quick, alright?
Just wait for me, will you? 

Friday, September 8, 2017

Satu Juta

Kau ada 1001 sebab
Untuk kau sedih
Untuk kau menangis
Untuk kau give up
Untuk kau marah pada Tuhan
Persoalkan setiap Dia punya percaturan
"Kenapa begini? Kenapa begitu? Kenapa aku?"

Tapi Dia balas soalan kau dengan
Satu juta jawapan
Satu juta alasan
Untuk kau bertahan
Untuk kau gembira
Untuk kau sedar sekeliling kau ada sejuta orang-orang yang sentiasa akan buat kau senyum dan ketawa
Terus buat kau lupa pada 1001 sebab yang buat kau sedih, menangis, dan give up.

Dan satu juta jawapan ini hanya boleh kau sedar dan rasa bila kau
Buka hati
Buka mata
Dan terima




P/s: dedikasi pada semua kawan-kawan yang sentiasa ada. Terima kasih. 

Saturday, September 2, 2017

FAQ

Mana ada orang dalam dunia ni yang tak okay
Semuanya okay
Jadi tak usah tanya-tanya
Sebab jawapannya tetap sama

Sebab sebenarnya
Okay tak okay ni bukan soal jawab guna kata-kata
Ia sesuatu yang perlu rasa
Guna jiwa




P/s: Fuck this. Aku serius okay! Okay?

Friday, September 1, 2017

Playing Cards

Been playing cards all this while. Thought of saving the best card I've got for the last move but dude. What a silly honest mistake, unintentionally drew the best card I've been saving and there it went.

Checked mate!

But then I realised that the 'best' card is not the one worth saving. Maybe there's another one with the ultimate level of power that I need to be careful and should've not by any means ruined the game again by any stupid moves.

The game has not ended yet. And I still have plenty of cards in my hand. Let's hope I'll become a wiser card player this time.

Finger crossed!

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Gassed in Riofloxin

"Wake up, baby! Wake up! If you sleep, you'll die, honey! Babe, wake up! Wake up! Keep your eyes open, baby. Honey, please, wake up!

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Tipu

Kau kini berada betul-betul disisi katilku. Melihat aku yang hampir-hampir mati diperbaringanku. Kau lihat aku dengan pandangan sayu.  Aku cuba ukir senyuman memecah kaku. Aku mahu katakan sesuatu. Tetapi kesakitan membataskan pergerakanku. Lalu kau cuba rapatkan wajahmu pada aku.

Sedaya upaya menahan peritku, aku cuba atur percakapanku, satu-persatu.

"Boleh aku minta kau sesuatu?"

"Ya, mintalah,"

"Boleh kau katakan pada aku, sesuatu yang tipu?"

"Sesuatu yang tipu bagaimana?"

"Apa-apa saja. Asalkan ia sesuatu yang tipu. Untuk malam ini sahaja. Aku perlu kau tipu aku,"

Kau terdiam dan mata kau terpejam. Sepertinya kau sedang menarik segala kekuatan yang bersisa didalammu. Lalu, kau tarik dan rangkul aku kemas-kemas dalam pelukanmu. Kau singgahkan bibir itu pada dahi aku dan kemudian turun ke pipiku. Kau sebak helai rambutku dan bisik perlahan di telingaku.

"Aku sayang kamu. Cinta kamu terlalu,"

Dan seusai itu, aku hela nafas terakhirku dipelukan kamu. Mati bahagia dalam penipuanmu.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Cukup-cukup

Setiap kali kau merungut pada aku tentang kekurangan kau sana sini, sompek serba serbi, cela itu, tak cukup ini;

Mahu saja aku pinjamkan mata aku untuk kau lihat betapa sempurnanya kau pada aku. Pada sepasang anak mata ini, kau sudah pun cukup-cukup.

Cukup sana sini
Cukup serba serbi
Cukup itu
Cukup ini

Cukup-cukup sempurna.
Cukup segalanya.

Hanya jika aku boleh pinjamkan mata aku.
Aku harap kau tahu.



Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Lost

"Hello, Sara? Sara kat mana ni? Hello? Hello? Ha, Sara kat mana ni? Ha? Kat mana? Tak dengarlah. Hello? Hello? Line putus-putus ni. Sara kat mana? Ha? Kat mana tu? Hello? Sara? Hello? Dengar tak? Fuck it! I can't hear you. Hello? Sara? Sara dengan siapa tu? Sara sorang ke? Hello? Hello? Stay there. Tunggu. I'll find you, okay? Be calm. Hello? Sara? Sara? Stay on the line, please. Hello? Sara please hold on! Hello? No, no, no, no! Hello? Sara? Sara? Sara!!!"

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Reaksi

Selalu saja aku terfikir bagaimana reaksi aku bila suatu hari nanti kau datang pada aku seraya berkata,

"Sara, aku akan berkahwin tidak lama lagi. Jangan lupa datang ke majlisku nanti,"

Gila.

Dengan membayanginya sahaja lututku sudah terasa lemah, jantungku sudah terasa mati. Apatah lagi bila menghadapinya nanti.



Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Of Car and Tree

I'm the stationary tree
And you are the moving car
I stay, fixed to my roots.
And you, with all the fuels and engine, traveling everywhere your heart desires.

If I have to be a tree till the day I die
I don't want to be the bad tree.
Stopping you all of sudden
Make you crashed on me while you're in motion.

Let me be the tree you're always looked  back to.
Drives all day and back to me at night
Hides under my shades when the sun extremely bright.
Give you the kind of serenity and calmness in every tides.

Perhaps someday I will be a moving car just like you.
But to be a stationary tree is nothing less, too.

Monday, July 24, 2017

Nanti Dia Baik Sendiri

Memang
Hati orang
Biar aku tatang-timangkan
Biar aku cuci-lapkan
Biar aku hias-cantikkan

Memang
Hati orang
Biar aku jaga-elokkan
Biar aku lihat-tengokkan
Biar aku tampal-jahitkan

Hati aku
Biar aku perosok bawah katil
Biar aku sorok dalam gobok
Biar aku simpan belakang pintu

Tak terjagakan
Tak terlihatkan
Tak terjahitkan

Biar dia elok sendiri
Biar dia tengokkan diri sendiri
Biar dia tertampal sendiri

Jangan peduli
Usah kisah
Nanti dia baik sendiri

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Write About Me

Am I worth your inks?
Am I worth your times?
Am I worth every pages every lines?

Write about me
Spill the page with my names
Throw your thoughts on me
Burst it out in the midnight flames

And when you write
Let it be true from your heart
Make it sincere
It could be bad or something dear

Write about me
Don't tell anyone or even me
Nobody needs to know about it
It's only you and the white sheet

Just write about me
In your sleepless night, maybe?

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Burning Photos

Enough is enough
Seriously
I'm sick
Why aren't you just leave?

It's either me or you
I don't know
I can't think of other ways
It's fucking torturing, dude.

If it's just as easy as burned down photos

Serius, beb.
Sakit.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

The Struggle

I should've stopped worrying
I should've stopped caring
I should've stopped remembering
I should've stopped looking
I should've stopped crying
I should've stopped trying

No I'm not trying. Never. It just came. I just being me. The weakest me. You weakens me, every single time. You're a kryptonite. I just can't. And it destroyed me.

You destroy me.

It's not your fault anyway.
I made a promise to myself about you then, and I loosed it.
God gives me strength, please.
We've talked about this right?
I had enough. Please.

Have mercy.
Please.


Thursday, June 22, 2017

Vise Versa

Aku dengan segala kemahuanmu
Sungguh vise versa
Aku dengan seluruh seleramu
Terlalu kontra
Hidup sejuta tahun pun aku masih lagi tak mampu memenuhi kemahuanmu juga selera kamu
Kerana aku tak sama.
Dan takkan pernah sama.
Juga takkan pernah cuba-cuba
Untuk jadi selari dengan mimpi-mimpimu

Aku itu cuma ini
Yang kau lihat ini
Inilah aku.
Ini sahaja
Cuma ini.
Yang aku mampu beri
Untuk kamu
Terima atau pergi.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Drowning

When you thought that you'd own everything but you're not.

Sucks to have this kind of feeling.

When you give all of you but it's never enough.

Need someone to talk but you don't know who to trust anymore.

Or at least, willing to listen.

You're alone in a crowded place. You thought that you belong to them but you're wrong.

Who's going to listen? Who's willing to? There's no one you can trust now.

Mend your heart by yourself. Keep all the tears inside. No one would want to see or care.

You need help. You think you need help. But there's no one.

The street's empty. So as your heart.

Stop calling. Because nobody's here.

Deal with it alone. By all means.

Deal it, yourself.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Kita Parallel

Kita terlalu sama
Macam dua garisan selari

Arah kita
Fikir kita
Laku kita
Mahu kita
Tawa kita
Tangis kita
Sama
Macam dua garisan selari

Kita memahami macam dua garisan selari
Kau hanya beri isyarat mata
Aku sudah boleh faham
Aku hanya perlu herot bibir
Kau sudah mampu erti
Seperti aku kata tadi
Kita sama seperti dua garisan selari

Tapi seperti dua garisan selari
Hati kita takkan pernah bertemu
Jiwa kita takkan pernah menyentuh
Raga kita takkan pernah bercantum
Sampai mati
Kerana kita hanyalah dua garisan selari


Pun begitu
Izinkan aku jadi parallel line kau
Juga sampai mati

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