a trapped heart in the tower.

"sayang, how you define love?"

he never answers. i dont know whether he know it or not. but for me... i dont know. i know nothing about love till i found him.

"saya kira sampai tiga, kita lari laju laju okay? satu... dua... tiga..."

he pulled my arm. we ran. fast. faster than i've ever run before. he looked at me and smiled. he has a big smile an a big laugh too. as if he never felt pain. as if he never get into miserable. unlike me. my life, my stories, even i felt that the air i breath is all darker. they all put me into a serious sickness.

looking at his smile, i melt. i dont know how i could still breathing because every time he's here, he takes my breath away. i should have died the first time i saw him.

"saya ingat nak jadi burunglah. kalau saya terbang, awak nak ikut?"

i smiled. i didnt answer it. i just looked at him. looked into his eyes. i wish he could read me. i wish that he would know how i want to be with him everywhere, every second of my life and forever! because only with him... all the pain and sorrow suddenly vanished.

***
"saya kena pergi, take care, i'll definitely come back soon. tunggu saya okay, sayang?"

i hold his hand hard. i never want to let go. he kissed me on my forehead and whispered, "sabar sayang, i promise i'll come back,"

i never wanted him to leave. as i said before he taught me the meaning of happiness, freedom and love that i never knew before. but somehow i have to. he said he got something to do in his life. something to be searched for, something to learn, gain and the most importantly he wanted to learn more about life. that is what he did all this while. until now.

im not quite sure what he did but every time we talked about it, it always sounds interesting. that is how he walked his life. but me?

i slammed the door. i heard the sounds of the motorcycle. its fading. but my tears falling hard. i opened up my jacket, a note fall out.

"sayang, saya pergi utuk cari erti kehidupan ni dengan cara saya. dan saya nak awak cari erti kehidupan dengan cara awak. i know it would be hard but there's nothing easy in this world. you have a strong heart, that is why i love you from the start," -Slay

i put it back in the pocket. i dont have any idea of when he will coming back but i know he will. because he's Slay my savior.

please come back.