Sambungan Dari Instastory

And for you Mak, lately Dakla selalu regret patutnya dulu Dakla minta kat Tuhan not only to panjangkan umur Mak, tapi to change place with you. Sebab at that time Dakla baru 14. Masa tu dosa tak banyak lagi. But now, entahlah Mak. Hidup ni susah rupanyakan? Susah setiap segi, Mak. Kadang-kadang Dakla serius tak tahan. Nak life end, tapi dosa bertimbun Tuhan je yang tahu. And Dakla tak berani sebab Dakla takut masuk neraka. Dakla tak habis taubat lagi. So to end life is not the option. And the only option is to live. And Dakla doa sangat kat Tuhan semoga Dakla sempat taubat and terampun dosa. So nak taknak Dakla kena teruskan hidup.

Mak, Dakla ni yang serius lemah tu. I cry  to everything. Mak tahu kan. Dulu masa Dakla belasan, kuat nangis tu berkurang. Dakla pun tak tahu mana Dakla dapat kekuatan tu. Maybe sebab dulu duduk asrama. So I’ve been surrounded dengan kawan2. So segan la nak nangis. Sekarang bila Dakla dah besar ni, I become weak again. Entahlah. Hati Dakla ni sensitif sangat. Dulu masa Mak umur Dakla Mak macam ni jugak ke? Dulu masa Dakla sekolah Dakla kasar. No grace. Tp bila dah besar ni, macam semua benda touched me. Tak tahu lah, Mak. And lagi sedih bila I have no one to share with. Dakla tak tahu lah selain Mak siapa je nak dengar Dakla menangis, nak pujuk Dakla nangis, nak tenangkan hati. Macam takde je Mak. Semua orang busy, Mak. Mana ada orang lain yang sanggup nak dengar keluh kesah seseorang kecuali Mak dia kan?

Mak, Dakla nak bagitahu yang kalau dalam dunia ni, Dakla tak ditakdirkan untuk jodoh dengan sesiapa, Dakla redha. Dakla akan bagi sepenuh masa dengan keluarga kita, Mak. And to be honest, kalau dengan Dia ni tak jadi, Dakla serius dah tak nak siapa siapa dah Mak. Mak, kenapa orang lelaki selalu buat Dakla menangis Mak? Hm. Takpelah. For now, Dakla ikut je Tuhan nak tetapkan macam mana. Dakla dah tak mampu lawan. Dakla bukan siapa-siapa. Till then. Semoga Dakla kuat, 1000 tahun lagi.

P/s: Btw Mak, hari ni birthday Zharif, and menantu sulung Mak. :)

Heartache

I wonder how can you sleep with the unresolved arguments between us. Because I can’t! I hated it everytime. I hated to sleep thinking that you still mad at me. Or you still didn’t get what I try to explain. I hated  to sleep while thinking that your feelings towards me becomes lesser. I hated to have that kind of thought. I wanted reassurance. I wanted to sleep in peace. Knowing that the arguments we had  do not affect your feelings towards me. I wanted to sleep with the thoughts that the person I love the most love me as much as I did. It may sounds cheesy. But that’s the point of me wanting to hear your voice before I get to sleep. I wanted to sleep in calm. In a peaceful mind. Knowing that someone is waiting for me, someone who’s counting days to see me, to be with me. Tell me how am I suppose to think that way if we didn’t solve the issue properly? Asking me to go to sleep and saying “I don’t mad at you anymore,” didn’t solve anything. In the end, I will left with so many unhealthy  thougths and tears and heartache. So tell me how am I going to sleep with all of these?

KALAU

KALAU BETUL SAYANG,
TOLONGLAH UNTUK SEKALI,
BUAT AKU RASA KAU YANG NAK AKU.
BUKAN AKU YANG TERHEGEH DEKAT KAU.



KALAU BETUL SAYANG.

Need Me When You Need Me

Go on.
Need me when you feel lonely
Need me when you’re in line
Or whenever you have some time to kill.

Yes, go on.
Need me when you’re bored
When no one’s around to accompany.
Need me when you’re schedule suddenly empty.

Yes, please.
Need me for a while
Need me for a minute
Need me for any second you feel kinda ‘needy’.

For I’d be here.
Waiting.
For the time where you feel like you need me.

Berhenti

“Part mana lagi kau tak faham yang dia dah tak nak kau?!”

“Part mana?!”

“Part mana?!”

“Sudah-sudahlah jadi bodoh. Blah je. Jangan kacau lagi. Orang dah tak nak. Kesiankan diri tu. Pergilah. Lupakanlah. Awal-awal memang susah. Tapi kau kena paksa jugak!”



“Jadi berhentilah, ya?”

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